Wrapped Around My White Flag

painting by Clare Elsaesser  You have my attention, I see love on the throne. Give you my affection, no it's not my own.  Unspoken words entangled with songs in the night - like the books without pages our hearts can read. You have my devotion. Give you all oh my King, I lay down my emotions... undone, unseen.  In that secret place, His secret place, as pure as it can be. . . I've tasted, the sweetest melodies brought to life by His breath. I've seen, a glimpse of His all-consuming radiance in every tear shed.  Yes you are... found…

March 6th. 3'O-something in the morning.  Still being burdened by my guilt and shame, still being pierced by my failures ----- I asked the Lord to give me His Word for me.....  (I've been reading from my digital bible for the longest time, and it's the first time I opened my physical bible and voila! ISAIAH ONE.) At first I thought it was too heavy to bear because it talks about the unfaithfulness of Israel, and the many warnings...  15 was too painful to see, and it is something I cannot bear "when you spread out your hands, …

2023 : Where You Lead Me I will Follow

I've seen how empty life is without the Lord. I've seen how exhausting the journey is to be lukewarm with Him. I've seen how restless I can be when I burden myself with tasks, things, and decisions that are not approved by Him. I've seen the horrors of disobedience, and have been bled dry by all the unnecessary wounds that came along with it.  Psalms 34:8 has a sobering verse that reads " Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him".  Ah, once we truly  taste and see His goodness, i…

Moments of Wonder (Slow Dancing Past Midnight)

There are only three things I regret before I turned 30 :  1. Not writing enough ,  2. Not taking enough photos / videos, and  3. Not seeking and obeying the Lord soon enough  While there is redemptive hope for #3 because of His promise in Romans 8:28 "He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose", there are times my heart still aches for moments I wish I could still relive - even in fragments, had I chosen to write more, or capture moments as they happen. But November is the perfect …

The Beauty of Discipleship | Why it Matters

I wrote a speech for my discipler's wedding today and shared it live. The next day, I was prompted by the Lord to make this video because it would be such a great honor to share to the world the beauty of discipleship. This video is best viewed with SOUND ON ) If you're new here, hello dear! I've been blogging since 2005. I got pregnant out of wedlock in 2017, and suppressed all my thoughts and emotions because of the waves of misery, uncertainty and brokenness. I stopped writing, praying, singing, creating; I isolated myself and w…

Where Do We Go From Here?

There.  I was there, awkwardly swaying across the fated candle-lit dinner, naive in wonderment of how time and timing found me.  I was there, singing fiery notes in doses of wonder while whispering sad songs of untitled romance  I was there, running past the dazzling tree of yes towards the horizon that gave me a glimpse of a wonderful adventure  I was there, hand-painting the first treasure chest to fill with wonder but the years started filling it with pearls  I was there, fiercely sailing through the storm with the wonder of a child-like fa…

Little Girl, I say to you, Get Up! #BESTWEEKENDEVER2022

taking her by the hand, He said “Talitha Koum!” (Little girl, I say to you, get up!) Mark 5:41 ~ and today June 12, 2022 I finally did! GOOD, BETTER, BEST * L ike most of people I know, I was baptized in my first year of life. I grew up in a home that strictly followed rituals and traditions, not missing activities and places that were marked sacred. I seemingly knew every song and response, aced exams about bible stories, and memorized prayers. I was taught at home and even at school to be good and do good, because I will be measured by them …

Will You meet me here again?

Can't go back to the beginning. . . Can't control what tomorrow may bring But I know here in the middle  is a place where you promise to be -  //"Here Again", Elevation Worship They say that the first step is always the hardest. But to me, it's the middle. Because once we make the first step, it's easy to be fueled by how far we've gone. What happens in between, then? When we're not really lost, but just in the middle of it all? After all, "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path." - …

HEART OF WONDER #01 : SURRENDER

What does it mean to surrender?  According the the dictionary (*), surrender  is an elementary-level word that means :  cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority. to give oneself up , as into the power of another; submit or yield. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; d eliver up possession of on demand or under duress to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another (**)  We easily identify with this word with actual war or battles, the military or police. If we stick …

When We're Sinking Deep

Hello, love. How's your walk with the Lord?  It doesn't matter if you've started recently, or a long time ago. We're in different seasons and phases, and what matters most is the desire to pursue Him, obey Him. and continue in His Word. I pray this devotion encourages you today. It's no accident that you're here after all! :)  Do you remember the 'Jesus Walks on Water' story?  Matthew 14:22-23 NIV (click the arrow to read)  Jesus Walks on the Water 22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the …

BACK TO THE HEART OF WORSHIP (It's Not About You)

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y  T O  M E !    Painting by Clare Elsaesser It's the first time in a long time, my heart finally understands what True Joy and Peace looks and feels like on my birthday. It took me 14 years to to get here - from my youth's daydreams, to being a voyager of life's seasons and phases in 2017, and literally surviving the darkest last 2 years of my life ( save for reading later :  DEPRESSION Part 1   DEPRESSION Part 2   How do you deal with a RELAPSE I'm here, I'm where I am now, all because of His gra…

My Tea's Gone Cold I'm Wondering Why

I'm out of bed at all, the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all // Dido - Thank you