#154: When God Seems Distant

It's not always a heavenly, joyful feeling. It's not always overflowing, or beautiful. There are ups and downs, just like the relationships we have. The only difference is this - He is perfect, and I am not. His love never runs out on me.

For a while, I struggled with getting back on my feet again because of how seemingly busy and fast the pacing of events has transpired. It feels as if God is so distant. I pray, but I don't feel Him. I pray some more, but I still don't. It eventually came to the point where I couldn't find time in a day to write and just talk to Him, and though there are whispered prayers - I feel so empty when I don't write, when I don't meditate on His word, when I don't read. . . 

Perhaps, it's why some parts of my life are in disarray at the moment. Some arguments here, chicken pox there. . . I've lost my focus on the One who must be above, the One who must come first. Without Him, how can I be filled with inner joy, peace and love? I'm only human, and will always be frail. 

When God seems distant - it is I who actually distanced myself from Him. I was openly vulnerable to the overwhelming reality I am now in, and somewhere along I slacked of. 

Relationships take work. 
I must constantly run towards Him. 
He is always waiting with open arms, loving arms.

I'll keep trying. I want to keep trying. 
I want to be myself again. Maybe even better. 
Lord help me.

"It" changes people. It does. But I still believe that He is greater than these strongholds that try to cripple me. Faith, hope and love, remember? The greatest of these is LOVE, remember? Don't forget, Bea. Don't you ever forget the things the you believe in. Don't forget your dreams, and the deepest desires of your heart. Don't forget the One who holds your heart. Keep running towards Him. Keep running towards God. Keep running towards LOVE.