25 September 2013

Lost, Found, and Loved

The day I thought I could live without you, and hated you for allowing my setbacks, was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I got so used to the thought until it finally, finally consumed me in ways I did not see.

Dark days became darker,
I was trapped in my own misery. 
I did not know what I was losing,
that I was losing, me.

I drew myself away from you, not knowing that it would also mean losing myself - your creation - to the enemy that breathed fear, worry, doubt and anger; the enemy that wanted to destroy, deceive, and cripple.

I refused the shield of your grace,
my thoughts deceived my heart
Refusing your love, did not move me to guard
my words that set the fire to start

I was caught unprepared. Everything I knew was standing still and strong, came crumbling down in front of me. It trickled away like dust. Everything I knew I would be holding forever, slipped away in a blink of an eye.

You stripped me of myself,
and took away everything I had,
I was left with nothing until
I chose to come back to you, God

You took the broken pieces, loved me in my brokenness. You drew me out of the waters, you rescued me. You carried my lifeless spirit, you wept with me. It was through losing that I gained you, it was through pain that love is purified.

I never want to be lost again,
now that I've grown deeper in you
I know you'll never let me go,
you have made me whole and new

Oh sweetest lover of my soul, you are worthy of all praise and worship. Take my whole heart, have it all, have it all. You are my sweetest embrace. Take all of me, mold me, shape me. You are the love that lives in me.

I long to bask in your love, all the days of my life
a love that never fails, always endures
a love making all things possible, creates miracles,
a love perfected by you, a love that's pure

Even if circumstances make me feel that my love is not worth keeping and that I only cause pain, and that my heart is not worth keeping unblemished by the pain of replacement, I gaze my eyes on love. Love, you are love, and you love me with an everlasting love, that you find me worthy to die for on the cross.

You alone know my worth, you know my heart
I want to be the woman you created me to be
Someday I will share you -who is love Himself-
with the man you have chosen for me

I can never live without you. I am weak, and nothing without you. It is only through you that I gain strength, it is only through you that I can love truly, with all of me. If you live in my heart, love lives in my heart, and that love is the sweetest and most pure that, on the day you think I'm ready, I will be giving it all, I will be sharing you completely.

The Wonder Human

To be human has its complexities and frailties. It almost feels natural to succumb to life's struggles and disarray, that we tend to forget how God has made us to be filled with wonder. . . and this blog aims to create vivid reminders of what we should never lose, what we should continually celebrate, what we should seek, in every musing, experience, milestone, chapter, and blessing. More about me HERE


Psalms 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Job 5:9 He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.

Psalm 71:17 Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

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