When We're Sinking Deep

Hello, love. How's your walk with the Lord? 

It doesn't matter if you've started recently, or a long time ago. We're in different seasons and phases, and what matters most is the desire to pursue Him, obey Him. and continue in His Word. I pray this devotion encourages you today. It's no accident that you're here after all! :) 

Do you remember the 'Jesus Walks on Water' story? 

Matthew 14:22-23 NIV (click the arrow to read) 

Jesus Walks on the Water

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

In summary : the disciples were in the boat, already far from the shore. They initially thought they saw a ghost, but it was Jesus - walking on water! Peter dared to walk on water too and he was able too,  because he believed it was indeed the Lord who said "Come". Upon seeing the wind though, he started sinking and asked Jesus to save him... 

In my back-to-the-heart-of-worship story, I could say that I was like Peter who obeyed the Lord, and through His grace, and Peter's faith - He also enabled me to walk on water. Have you had "walk on water" moments too? Circumstances where you have full dependence on the Lord? Decisions based on His Word and full trust in His hand when it came to execution? 

As for me - my life really turned 360 since I started taking my walk with the Lord seriously in October 2020. All His promises that came with my obedience started to unfold in phases in just a year! They're all vivid testimonies and stories of His faithfulness (will share separately) but the reality of walking on water is this : the WINDS, WAVES, STORMS are inevitable, because they are natural occurrences in this fallen world we live in. Sometimes these things are attempts of the enemy to distract us, and loose our focus. And when we do, just like Peter in verse 30 (But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”) we start to SINK! What are examples of winds, waves and storms in your life? For me, it's Worry. Why's. and Sin. 

In my case, the WWS were byproducts and tell-tale signs of battling another impeding relapse (ugh, year 2!!!) for the past few weeks. A darker one happened last year ( link : how do you deal with a relapse? )but with God's grace and gift (dgroup!)  I was able to overcome. It's a big blessing that this time around, walking in the light and on water through faith made way for the Holy Spirit to prompt me of how deep I've been sinking already! How do you know if you're sinking (deep) already? 

The signs are quite obvious : 
  • Quiet time with the Lord is not as intimate. In fact, it's even hurried, routine-like, or worse :  none at all! 
  • There's that desire to pray and cry about it, but resorting to social media, gaming, and other forms of pleasure seems to be the better option just to "keep the mind tame". 
  • The forms of pleasure become idols (in my case, there were days I played for 2hours just to take my mind off things! I binge ate, and resorted to isolation again) 
  • Mood swings are off the charts (and other people get hurt) 
  • Peace is disturbed. 

Any of these sound familiar? ^^, Geez, I'm guilty of all of the above! That's why I asked my dgroup sisters to pray for me once the awareness kicked in. Praise God for His Holy Spirit! 

Back to scripture : When Peter started to sink, he cried "LORD SAVE ME". He went straight to the source, he cried out to the Lord directly.  Who do you run to when you're aware you're sinking already? Do you cry out Jesus right away? Do you also ask your loved ones to pray for you? 

That same night I asked for prayers, I ugly-cried to the Lord in my desperate attempt to be saved. I was so sorry for all the worries, the why's, and the sins. The hurt, the shame, the anger were like weighted chains that pulled me down. And I kept "looking down" trying to unchain myself on my own, but it only made me sink further. But you see, when Peter cried out to the Lord, verse 31 was so clear : "IMMEDIATELY, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him"

Immediately. In haste. Right away. In a snap -  Yes, HE WILL RESCUE US. He rescued me from going haywire, he rescued me from further damage, he rescued me from drowning in my WWS. I'm sure HE WILL RESCUE YOU TOO. 

He makes this promise even sweeter and clearer in Psalms 91:14-16 : 
Because you love me, I will rescue you.
I will protect you because you know my name.
15 When you call to me, I will answer you.
I will be with you when you are in trouble.
I will save you and honor you.
16 I will satisfy you with a long life.
I will show you how I will save you.
:') You see, all we have to do is CALL on Him. All we have to do when we're sinking deep already, is LOOK UP. No other Way but up. 

We just have to hold on to His hand. Hold on to His promises. Hold on to WHO HE IS, and WHAT HE CAN DO. After all, when we're already walking on water - it only means we're walking in Truth :  His Word as a lamp on our feet, and a light to our path. 

And now that we're all reminded of these : will we still be of little faith? will we still doubt? 

As new beings in Christ, we surely won't. But as humans of this world, there will still be trouble - the winds, the waves, the storms, will still appear. But He also promised us in John 16:33 that 

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We have to fight for Wonder, in being human. It's a daily, moment by moment pursuit for His Wonder - His Word, His love. His heart. 

Praying with you and for you in this battle, 
Bei | thewonderhuman