Go Now

Have you ever had really big dreams that involve people you love, people who really matter? Have you ever had beautiful dreams for yourself too, that the very moment you start talking about them, your eyes exude so much wonder as if they have already come to pass? And. . . have you ever been in a valley of hopelessness and despair, because of how life's awful truths seemed to have shattered these dreams and the mountain top is nothing but a view from where you stand?

I've held such beautiful, and wild dreams close to my heart, but I (most often than not) lose sight of them and drown once the waves of reality swallow me in.

But through God's grace, here I am. Here I am again - making another attempt, treating my nth chance as if it were the last, living my day as if it were the last.

It took me a few months to break, a few more days to feel it, and a few days to get back on track because it all makes perfect sense all the more to have all combined elements take form. God is indeed at work!

(via Pinterest)
My Mom. My Sister. My Dad. 

One Sunday afternoon, I caught here reading a book in bed. She was so still, and so beautiful, but very, very thin. Of course I knew why, but it broke my heart to have completely noticed the drastic weight loss. I just stared at her and I wanted to cry from where I stood, but it took everything in me to hold back just kiss her. I went back to my room, wrote on my journal, and cried like a baby. 

From that moment on, I set her smiling photo as my wallpaper so I am frequently reminded of my dreams. She deserves the best! She deserves the best. 

I was watching the video of their pre-production journey and I saw him in a few clips. Something to be proud of, definitely. But seeing him scorched in heat, far from us, and thinking about how his knees might hurt sometimes, and moments he might be extra kind to people who might have the tendency to abuse and take him for granted - again, my heart broke. He should be retiring soon, but no. He is still working for the family's sake. 

Just the other day, he was back from that trip and he embraced me so tight and kissed me like he always did when I was a little girl. I wanted to cry, but I had to be strong. What I saw from the clip, and this gesture he did - they are on constant replay on my mind. 

Little Sister. 
Just today, we were talking about her week, about school, about sisterly things, until she mentioned that her feet is swollen, and there are bruises and red marks of her wounded little toes.  I felt so powerless, and defeated. Her toes screamed my failure, and I badly wanted to cry. But again, the third time, I had to hold back and take heart. 

Seeing shoes, seeing little toes, is like recreating this heartbreaking moment with my sister, again, and again, and again. 

All three of them, three of the most important people in my life. Three people I have sworn to take good care of, three people who deserve all the best things in life. 

"A triple braid cord is tough to break" - God has arranged the sequence of discoveries in such a way that it would now make me unbreakable, and extremely fueled. 

Enough of despair, enough of hopelessness. No dream is too big for our God! He always answers with what is best - a no, a not yet, or a yes - in His perfect time. For now, I am a work in progress just as these dreams in my heart. 

"What we think, we become." 

I am victorious. I am a daughter of the King. I am a woman after His own heart. I am God's powerful champion. Because I am blessed, I will bless the world in Jesus' name. AMEN. 

So go now. . . and work for the life you are meant to live, work for the things you have always wanted to give, live more for love, and love more to live. 

// May this be your prayer too.

Praying for you,