She was a few steps ahead of me when I looked down and noticed how she wore her sneakers like half slippers. Her feet are surely tired and swollen.
Half slippers.
Half slippers. . .
It's a vivid memory. . . the day we drove to the North to explore this new Ayala Mall - Trinoma. She bought three pairs of Keds that were matchy (islet white for her, nude beige for me, and bright pink for my sister) We were all so happy, not because we bought new shoes, but because we had "matching" pair of shoes. It was kind of a symbol of closely-knitted hearts.
Half slippers.
Yes, today she wore her white sneakers like half slippers.It struck a chord in my heart that reverberates a cold ache.
The years of aging have gotten the best of her, and I refuse to believe that this is how she will remain to be - in pain.
She was once full of life, bright and bold, curious about so many things. Her dreams were beautiful, and her heart had so much hope. She was patient in waiting, firm in believing. She knew how to laugh, she knew how to pamper herself, she knew how to embrace the process of growth. Her strength was contagious. Her heart was full of love, in fact - even overflowing.
All I can see now is her soul yearning to come back to life. Lord please breathe life into her.
I miss you, mama.
Circumstances seem all too overpowering. The years that brought her here seem overpowering.
I miss her. . . She knows I do, but she doesn't know that I miss the real her. Ah. I can only see, and touch "the now". And reminding her of herself would just bring her more pain.
I understand. . . I keep praying my heart continues to understand. I keep praying my heart continues to love, and endlessly understand.
Our matchy pairs are still alive, after 5 years. One of the best traits she passed on to us is taking good care of our things, especially if it matters to us.
I pray one day we wear them full.
I believe.
Nothing is impossible with God, only believe. For He works all things together for our God.Only God can restore and heal the broken hearted. Everything is made beautiful in His time. God's delays are never denials.While I'm waiting, I will worship.
