#157 : Waiting

Well. . . sometimes we wait. 

We wait for something we want so dearly, and when we're in denial that we are, we mask it with thoughts that hurt us back. 

Thoughts that make us feel unworthy of the things we want, 
thoughts that make us feel uneasy, 
thoughts that make us question why - 
why can't we have what we want, 
why can't we have what we think we deserve, 
why not  yet, why not,   
- why. . . 

and in the process, only sometimes, because we have filled our hearts with pain, 
we grow old and tired of waiting. 

Cold and tired that the mere thought of what we want is just a glimpse of the intangible dream. 
Cold and tired we think it's best to just live in the now because it's all we can hold. 

Cold and tired that we start fearing what we want...
like a ghost of our past selves that once dreamed of something beautiful. 

Cold and tired that waiting doesn't make sense anymore, 
because we start questioning why we're even waiting in the first place. 

Cold and tired that we can't even grasp anymore how happy we'd feel if that day comes...
or if the gravity of joy we once dreamed would still have that effect on us. 

Cold and tired we leave what we want as it is - a dream.