February was too swift in passing and it's ironic that I am all of a sudden finding myself frozen on the second week of March.
This isn't the kind of break I had in mind. To be honest, I didn't really think I'd have a break for the next 6 months or so! Why, hello there. . . God brings forth the unexpected, and regardless of 'how', the outcome is surely part of His plan.
Of all times, why now?
I could have had it when I was younger, I could have had it back summers ago in college, I could have had it while I was working night shift in my previous job. Why now?
...at a time I am just recovering from the damaging effects of the HCG diet on my skin;
...at a time I have just started working my way up the ladder;
...at a time I had my mind fixed on new beginnings and greater stories to tell.
God works in mysterious ways.
What could possibly be the reason for delaying supposedly planned events and activities? What could possibly be the reason for this one to two weeks of forced "resting"? What is God preventing, what is God protecting me from, that I must stay home for a while? I surely don't know the answer now, but soon enough I'll find out.
My assumption is this : perhaps I need this time to renew myself, for the new life ahead of me. I must leave the old, and embrace the new. I must fully come to life, before I can finally grace through this course I am taking. Yes? Yes.
After all, two days of 'rest' from the previous job to the next is extremely short, isn't it?
Oh, pour over coffee! You'll be part of my lovely mornings someday. |
There mustn't be a day too busy that I couldn't make time for Him. Well, this is my wake up call - I have to refocus.
The first few days of the onset of my illness felt really really awful. This is the worst I've ever felt about myself physically, and mentally - because of my worries about work. I went through a stage of denial, anger, self-pity and frustration. The moment I just cried and prayed about it made me still. . .
I am trying my best to surrender all my anxieties - about work, the scars, and everything in between. My mind is like a hurricane sometimes but He is my peace. I will overcome!