University of Sto. Tomas, Paskuhan 2014 |
Everything wasn't exactly how I imagined it to be, but for reasons that truly matter - it was still beautiful.
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Oh how I love surprises, and that night I was indeed surprised by how God turned everything around to make me realize that there are things that shouldn't be compromised. I knew this from the very beginning, but after several instances of doing so reached its peak - the aftermath was too heavy on my heart.
It was a simple dream, but it mattered so much to me. And we should not lose sight of the things that matter.
I wish I didn't let my sadness take over, but I would be lying to myself if I faked being happy all too easily. That's just how I am - I feel deeply, and I think that's beautiful.
But to feel deeply, while being held with warmth in safe arms without judgement - that's even more beautiful, because it's what made me embrace myself more, and appreciate how my emotions are also being valued.
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I do believe that greater things are coming, and sometimes it has to be bad before it gets better; tough before it gets easier; sad before it gets euphoric. It's not always a one shot deal, or a one-time thing. Sometimes there has to be a build up, sometimes there's a process involved, sometimes it takes time, sometimes it just isn't time yet. Dreams come true like that - gradually increasing, expanding, growing.
I wanted to see UST for the first time with every element in it - the lights, the campus, the fireworks display. Did it come true? Partly, but I didn't expect to dream of something more when I realized three things, because of one promise - "...next year, and the next, and the next"
1. UST will still be standing for the next n-hundred years,
2. the Paskuhan tradition won't die (in my lifetime),
3. there are limitless events to witness a grand fireworks display.
What makes this dream more meaningful is the fact that it just included another element in it - something wonderful to look forward to. And this, I surrender to the Lord. After all, "Everything is made beautiful in His time."
Well. . . the simple dream I had in mind? It grew, and made me focus more on what truly matters. And no, it isn't just about pretty lights and stars bursting in the sky.
It will happen, not just once.
And yes, I won't be alone when it does.