The Waking Life

The hardest between waking moments, 
is losing someone over and over.
Instead of getting used to it, 
it always happens like the first time -

Your heart stops beating 
with every nerve that starts to freeze, 
and you want to breathe,
just breathe for a second
but you can't. 

You feel how your heart is being torn,
and even if you want it to end quickly,
the more it goes slower, deeper
making sure that you are left 
with shattered pieces.

Just when you think it's over, 
you realize that you are left with the reality
of someday being easily replaced, because -
your love is not worth keeping unscathed, 
and everything about you causes pain

Before your heart starts breaking twice, 
your tears quietly drown you to sleep
making you untouched by the ice of pain
yet the cold just burns you to wake up,
and you start losing all over again.