Day 34 : Before I Become a Zombie

I woke up today in self-denial that I will be going to work from 8pm to 6am starting today. I thought of keeping myself distracted by ordering 12pcs of nuggets from Mcdo and bond with my sister over watching some missed out episodes of The Vampire Diaries Season 4. My idea of being stuffed really worked, because it felt like it was Saturday. When she left for her kumon around 3:30pm, I forced myself to sleep to at least regain my energy.

I felt the urge to wake up around 5:30, but still hesitant to get up I buried myself in my pillows. I just couldn't sleep anymore. Nathalie arrived with Cobee, in his new haircut, and it was worth getting up to see him so it was just what I did.

6:30 came too fast. I had to leave. Saying goodbye to my mom before I entered the car was somewhat too emotional. I felt like crying. I embraced her, like I always do, but this one's a little tighter than before.

On my way to work, Chester and I talked. It felt like I was going home, and again I felt like crying. I just had to be strong. He's just about to end his day, while I'm just about to begin mine.

As I write this post, I am again, in the middle of breaking down. I'm working while all the people I love, are asleep. . . Mama and Nathalie, won't be sleeping with me beside them. Chester is asleep like a baby while I, am not asleep like him.

This shift will continue for a couple of days, weeks, or months Oh please no... It's something totally out of my hands, yet I know that God has a purpose for me, from the very beginning. All these hardship and trials means something, and is part of building my character, and is part of His Divine Plan for me.

So before I become a zombie (still a beautiful one I hope), I'd like to express my acceptance, and surrender. I know this is only a temporary phase.

I look forward to the day where I'll happily tell myself that I did a good job, and that I finally deserve being on a regular day shift, being given a role where I will truly excel and will love, being compensated well, and being able to live more. . .

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