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Showing posts with the label SCAREDShow all
DEPRESSION : Road to Recovery Part 1
This is my attempt, to understand and share what I am going through, hoping that in the process of recovery, I might just be able to reach those who are in the same path, and heal together. Thank you for being here. -------------------------------------------------------- Here I am, writing from my hospital bed at 2:51PM, day 02 of x. This is the last place I thought I'd be, and it has never occurred to me that I'd be suitable prey to what has killed many before me. How I wish I wrote this sooner. How I wish I went through this…
Day 84 : Autumn
I remember adding this on my bucket list a few days ago - Experience the beauty of every season there is, no matter what it's called, all in a year or two for the thrill of 'waiting' for the season to arrive, and the season finally coming to pass, in one country. Oh how beautiful that would be! I blissfully wrinkled my nose as I smiled with my eyes closed, and created a vivid picture of reality. Yes, someday, someday. DEFINITELY. It was just yesterday that I saw a really beautiful photo of autumn leaves, and it amplified…
Day 69 : Guard Your Heart
Once upon a time, this bible verse started to become my life's motto - " Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23)" Three years ago - exact date, almost exact time, and same weather- I heard the most unexpected words from a close friend. It was something I didn't see, something I was afraid of. That night, at Zen Tea, I stated my disbelief that his feelings are serious, and I never really trusted a guy's word when it comes to things beyond friendship. But because I always …
Day 16 : Visions & Breakfast
Attending an early morning mass is always a great way to start the day, and is a perfect weekender. I was at peace knowing that God is glorified through the Eucharist. While praying at the cross, I suddenly had the worst scenario flashing in my mind - being in Team Middleware, and having a graveyard shift. My heart couldn't stop pounding, and I held back my tears. No, no, no... I had a vision of 'what could it be like' if I were on a graveyard shift. [X] Higher Pay, [X] Breakfast with them, [X] Miss out on lunch, but it's ok…
Day 9 : Feverish Friday
I woke up today in heat. I could barely move my body, and my eyes are sore. My head is like a beating drum, and I feel like I'm on fire. I hate the sick feeling... My simple moment of bliss though was getting a taste of red velvet cupcake from Moonleaf. I just had one, but it was plain awesome! After my momentous meal, I was back to being sick. Maybe this is all the result of two weeks in a war zone with myself, battling choices and playing with fire. :-( I wish this phase would end soon, and that I would triumph victoriously. *Sigh.…
I'm a single mom who was once dead to depression but now alive in Christ. My mother named me "BEA PATRICIA", and I will spend the rest of my life living by what it means : "voyager, bringer of joy; noble", for the Lord says "I have called you by name, you are mine". It is my life's purpose to make Him known and my heart's desire to share to the world how His Wonder can be pursued in life's seasons, moments, and soulful spaces. || Walk in faith, walk in Wonder.
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